The USMNT's EPIC FAIL: World Cup 2018, an opportunity lost in time ...

Tears in the Rain: Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner (1982). 

And so it was last night, on a wet field in Trinidad and Tobago. I think The Washington Post expressed it best: 

In a stunner, U.S. men's soccer falls to Trinidad and Tobago and will not qualify for 2018 World Cup

Let me just say that I am hugely disappointed by this. My first thought: Start a Change.com petition to make Abby Wombat the new coach of the USMNT. Or, dare to dream, David Beckham??

Like the birth of a healthy child, placement in the World Cup is not something any country can take for granted. England did not qualify for the 1994 World Cup and Ireland has missed the last two. Still, I thought we could at least beat a tiny vacation island in the Caribbean. What was the problem? Puddles on the field? Arrogance? Whatever the reason, we have been abruptly awoken from Pulisic-fueled dreams of World Cup domination and must deal with humiliation and romo, i.e. the realization of missing out.

I remember the old days of being a soccer fan in NYC, when the only people at the bar watching World Cup games were me and the bartender. And I remember gazing up at that analog TV mounted up in the corner and watching Bruce Arena sitting on the sidelines as the US men's team, starring a young Landon Donovan, brought a fresh new energy to this well-worn international stage. Bruce Arena, however, did not impress me. As a Knicks fan, I had grown accustomed to high-energy coaches with volatile tempers, demonstrative reactions, and suits and ties. The somewhat schlumpy Arena bore no resemblance to the sharply-dressed Pat Riley with his GQ looks and slicked-back hair. Nor was he anything like the no-nonsense, irrepressible yet lovable Jeff Van Gundy.

Looking back at that World Cup today, however, I have a lot of respect for Arena for keeping his head up in what must have been an extremely intimidating situation. He must have been treated like an outcast by the other managers, and it's not like he was so well known at home. 

Nevertheless, a team manager must have an inspiring presence, and Arena did not. He appeared unaware of the magnitude of his surroundings and unperturbed by his team's inconsistent performance. At the time, I suspected that he didn't even like soccer, but happened to stumble upon a job opportunity that no one else wanted. 

It was that same old oblivious, unfazed and unaccountable Arena that resurfaced yesterday, when he had the sheer gall to dismiss Tuesday's loss as a mere "blemish."  Blemish?? Blemish on what exactly, an otherwise stellar reputation? Clearly, Arena lives in a delusional world in which he's the manager of Germany's national soccer team. But back on planet earth, the Tobago loss is a reality check: The US men's team is still seriously wobbly. Arena has three major achievements: LA Galaxy, coaching Landon Donovan and toppling Portugal in the 2002 World Cup in Korea and Japan, thus advancing to the quarterfinals. That may sound like a mind-blowing resume next to Joe Shmo the soccer coach, but it doesn't exactly make Bruce Arena the American Pep Guardiola now, does it. So I wish commentators and reporters would stop acting like Arena's the godfather of US soccer. He isn't. He's just someone who happened to show up at the baptism. 

The good news is that fans are furious and hugely disappointed. And that kind of heart-wrenching, tantrum-inducing frustration is our greatest asset right now, because it's the truest motivation there is. Meanwhile, MLS soccer is getting better and more exciting.The NY Red Bull's / NYCFC rivalry for instance is as scrumdiddlyumptious as shepherd's pie, and it's been a gift to watch Bradley Wright-Phillips battle the great David Villa. #designatedplayersmatter.

So let's accept this harsh reality, hit the ejection-seat button on Arena, and move on with a deeper appreciation for the sport. As in any other sport, being good at soccer cannot be faked. 

And p.s., if you haven't noticed, the soccer ball is color-blind and doesn't care where you came from, how fancy an upbringing you had, or how good you look in your kit. But if you speak its language of skill and determination, it will roll over at your feet and soar into the air, taking you and everyone watching with it. 

Goodbye for now World Cup, have fun in Russia. We'll be seeing you in Qatar.

"We'll be back."  (PHOTO from SI.com)